i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
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