The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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