There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
