I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize