At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
