this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
