My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm getting married
To pizza
Randomize
