I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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