Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize