He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
And then he peed in my hair
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