she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
