Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
im drinking this country out of the recession.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
