it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
so let's talk penis.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
