ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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