I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
