I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
