i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
i've created a new STD.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
