We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
