Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
