If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
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