I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
