Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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