she was so not down for the gang bang
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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