And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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