she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
