Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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