he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
