Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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