brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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