I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
