I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
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you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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