We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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