I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
