The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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