I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize