just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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