Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
