Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize