It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
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Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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