i think my mom watched the whole time
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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