It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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