A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
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You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
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Woke up backwards on a recliner
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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