Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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