We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
