He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
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I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
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You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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