Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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