i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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