I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize