you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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