fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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