I hate your face
if i can run in heels then i can drive
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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