We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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