when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize