i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
