Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize