clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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