Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
