There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
